My brother once said to me, "Val, I think you bring out the worst in people."

Deplorable to say, I'm afraid it's true. Take my first actual boyfriend for example. At first, I made him wanna be a better person. Unintentionally and unknowing on my part, he apparently found inspiration to tame his temper and adopt the virtue of being understanding. But that didn't last for long. Over time, what he innately was started to surface and before you know it, he became worst than he had ever become. And this was, on my part, also unintentional. To be fair, I lost bits of my pride, my dignity, and a whole of 10kg.

Take all those I dated there after. They eventually either went slightly psycho or did/said things that were illogical, irrational, and sometimes, unreasonable.

Not once has someone that has come into intimate contact with me changed to become say; more focused in life, or discover what it is to be understanding, or mellow down, or found passion to pursue something big picture-ish...

So yes, that's the sad truth I've now come to terms with. Not only do I extend hurt and sadness, I bring along with me an infliction of terrible change. And no, this doesn't not make me the winner nor the last one standing between me and him. Honestly, it's more painful for me than it may come across.

D and I called it off. Logically, I cannot think of a more right thing to do. But speaking from the very pit of my heart, I don't know if it is. I miss him, I do. And I wonder whether we can ever regain that friendship we once had. I hope he never alters his moral values and sticks by them. Hopefully. Maybe.

Back to my amazingly atrocious ability in causing people to behave with no sense of thought, I think for the better of you, you should all stay away from me.

*Sigh. What an Easter.

Time for work.