Monday, April 12, 2010

I don't think I've ever been this jaded. I haven't felt happy for what feels like a thousand years. Can't remember what being happy feels like.

I've been having one of those dreams where everything you touch seems to be massively bigger than you are. But you're the same size and whatever you touch is actually in proportion to you. But as you touch this seemingly normal sized slice of meat / piece of bread / lollipop, it all of a sudden morphs into something giant sized and all effort in trying to move the thing ends in futility.

What a dream. Way to make a person feel small.

And once again, paranoia plagues me. This space isn't safe anymore. But then again, when was it ever?

Don't you think it's time to apologise? Most definitely not, because you go ahead doing everything guilt-free and with no remorse. But what did I expect from you? Honestly, I don't know either. But I know I've never asked you for anything.

I'm trying to get to the root of my problem.

Maybe yoga and pilates will help.