I experience this all the time, tell me if I'm the only one. I have a whole thread of thoughts I wld play back in my head on what I wanna blog about, and when I actually get in front of the computer facing this exact screen where I'm supposed to type my entry, everything I thought I wanted to write about just escapes me. Either that or I suddenly find that the things I wanna write about are so.. repetitive. Insignificant. Dull.

So if u want to continue reading, then I hope u find it worth your while.

I extracted 2 wisdom teeth on the left of jaw (my left, not yours) just Monday and that area of my face is currently swollen and utterly tender. So yes, time, once again, is on my side. All my plans of frolicking in the sun and out in the city has remained tentative so that I may nurse my bulgy face back to normal. That gives a lot of time to muse over everything and nothing (meaning to "stone", "stone" meaning think about absolutely nothing which I know u already know, not u know.. the other "stone").

What I meant to say is, this being swollen on one side of the face business SUCKS. Because sitting here surfing youtube and watching all the aspiring musicians just makes me feel like such a let down, like how I gave up on piano midway. And all the excess energy I have from all the soup n porridge I consumed fuels my brain to mull over this and that friendship (mainly ones that have been lost), which, once again, suck. Because really, if I hadn't gone ahead and booked that appointment that I knew wld put me in this position, I wld be out revelling about under the sun, in the city, whatever floats my boatybye.

That yes, I always chose the most ungodly hours to write an entry. Going to bed now.

As fervently as some of us may protest, I think a teeny fraction of us want to believe in the wonders of love. After a really bad break up and months, possibly even years, of mourning hurt hate and self pity, I emptied my heart into a box and wrapped it under lock after chain so noone would ever be able to do what he did to me. Yet buried yards beneath all the trust issues, constant paranoia and pessimism was a little trinket with the word 'love' on it. A belief that there can b complete utter trust and an infinity pool of love between 2 individuals.

I hope you grow into the man you've set out to be so that I can realise this with you.

I'm loading 1001 things on youtube right now so my internet's running slow as hell, but I feel like I need to recap and note down my Bangkok trip before I start forgetting bits of it. So here goes. Oh, and yes, I'm back from Australia, been back for ages even though it doesn't feel at all like it cos I've been busy busy busy. With what, I'm not exactly sure myself but I knw it's got a lot to do with not having been in my own country much for the past 3 weeks. Ok, Bangkok trip.

Day 1

- Touched down like at 7pm or smth

- Explored hotel surroundings

- Had what we thought was cheap Thai food @ hawker like place nearby (coconut was awesome ass)

- Shopped along the roadside stalls

- Bought Chang beer top for YS

Day 2

- Missed brekkie, but went for swim and tanned for a bit

- Met Andrew, local friend who's half British too

- Had lunch @ A&W

- Brought us to Platinum mall, shopping madness

- Dins @ nice Italian place

- Club @ Route 66 before adjourn to Wipp (FUNNEST NIGHT EVER)

- Got super smashed @ Wipp thanks to Bay's sis's husband

- Make way back to hotel

Day 3

- Missed brekkie, again

- CTC, didn't enjoy it cos it was too crowded but suer huge so fine, experience

- Chop chop to Platinum again

- Shiyan got pick pocketed, blackberry and 1000 baht gone

- After buying a ton of bags, back to hotel

- Freshened up, went for Thai dinner at Soi 5

- Had weird American talk to me otw to Bed

- Bed Supperclub!!!

Day 4

- Finally made it for brekkie

- Went back to room and died in bed (OMG, wasting day, very bad)

- Gave going to Platinum a miss (I know, like again)

- Got up, Andrew came, and out we went to Grand Palace and Temple

- Went to temple, rented clothes cos had to cover up to go in

- Only I went in, with Andrew cos it's free for him

- Came out from changing room looking like a local, had ppl speak to me in Thai

- Went in to temple, look see, trigger happy

- Temple closing so came out, returned clothes

- As returning clothes, random stranger lady sitting on steps with son stared at me and nodded in approval to son sitting beside her (this is according to Andrew)

- Went out to look for D and S

- Had the awesomest coconut ice cream EVER

- Adjourn to another temple

- Look see snap snap snap

- Left for dins @ place in Siam Square

- Aft dins, went to mall with lots of phone stuff, cldnt find case for phone cos too new

- Left handphone mall & headed for massage @ Miss Puke

- Aft massage, went back hotel, had drink, then PING PONG SHOW

- Went to place, disappointed, no more pingpong show

- Decided to enter Suzie Wong, naked girls on stage and dirty old white men sitting in booths

- Felt uncomfy @ first, then started having fun

- Dinah had a lot of attention, and so did Andrew

- Shiyan got hit on by butch

- Went home, crashed

Day 4

- Aft 2 hours of sleep, rushed to get to airport, so missed brekkie, OMG

- We thought flight was at 930am, turns out it was 905am, got to gate 5 mins aft plane flew

- STRESS PANIC TRAUMA ANGER ANNOYED PENNILESS TIRED HUNGRY

- All flights full, went on standby for all of them

- Met guy who said will help us get SQ flight, but have to wait till last min

- Wait and wait and wait for SQ flight, finally got it, HAPPIEST MOMENT EVER

- A380, comfy, food, watched 9

- Finally home, longest 8 hours of my life

That's abt it, my trip in many dash points, hopefully there'll b pictures! The whole part abt missing our return flight was absolutely not ideal, but I guess I did always wonder how it felt like to miss ur flight. For me, it's the kind of thing u'd only ever hear abt but will never actually encounter personally, and quite honestly, my whole life has been pretty organised and I've always been super anal when it comes to things that matter, so in retrospect, I actually thought it was rather.. refreshing to have missed my flight and be completely stranded in a foreign airport for 8 hours with no confirmation of being on any flight until like half an hour before the plane leaves its berth. Hahaha. Sounds a trifle sadistic doesn't it. And I suppose it kinda paid off cos we few back by SQ and we got to b on the A380 which was such a wonderful experience.

Anyway, that very traumatising yet amusing encounter aside, on a completely different note, dinner today was so wonderful. I'm not inclined to reveal where I dined because there's this one person in particular I'm not absolutely happy sharing such a wonderful place with (for many reasons and the main one being the copycatting has already gone on many miles too far), and I know this person reads this space. But regardless, I have to note it down to remember in many years to come, the absolutely lovely foie gras. And the delightful deep fried oysters with the multi-coloured sauces separated in individual shot glasses. And the tender pork belly as well as the marvelous chocolate lava cake. It was though, a very unhealthy meal altogether. I felt so oily after it I think I cld have perspired oil.

So ok, another wonderful day tmr. With ys before he flies off to Chicago for like a century.