You've been so perfect to me. You've made so much effort in making sure everything would please me. You've gone lengths to make me happy. But why is it that I'm not happy now. Instead I feel terrible. I feel like I can't do the same for you. I feel like I can't give you how much you give me. You would give up an overseas internship for me, but I can't even decide to go back to Sg with you in July. This is not right. I'm starting to think you deserve so much more than what I can give. I don't want you to adjust your expectations anymore. I don't want you to settle.

I cannot believe I almost typed in my student number and student password to enter my blogger. I actually started typing S-3-2-2 before I realised I wasn't logging on to an academic portal. Uni is driving me over the edge.

What's so tough about the last semester is the feeling of utter nonchalance about everything uni related. Well, for the most part of the 12 weeks that is. Now that the 12 weeks is about to be up, all the major assignment deadlines start to hover closer and closer over your head and you can't help but be bothered by it's impending end, and feel unequivocally STRESSED. Doesn't help that I have 2 major essays this semester that are due in the same week! Barely 3 days apart. Not to mention 1 photo essay, 1 presentation + 1000 word accompaniment and a PR campaign all due in the weeks before and after. And the very OCD me find it an astronomical challenge to work on all these assignments, especially the essays, simultaneously! I have to go from politics, democracy, modernization, Japan, to globalisation, communication, the human body, facebook, to media releases, media blasts, radio scripting, to muay thai, culture, the West, globalisation!

I NEED TO DO ONE THING AT A TIME. CHANNEL ALL ENERGY AND FOCUS ON 1 SINGLE ASSIGNMENT AT A GO, FINISH, THEN MOVE ON. This switching from one thing to another is causing a brain tumour. I FUCKING FEEL IT.

Also, I feel like running myself into the wall. Why in the world did I think I could write a paper on democracy?! WHAT GAVE ME THAT IDEA MAN. Sure, it's suppose to link back to "Asian Values" and cultural studies is quite my thing, but democracy, being the other half of it, is in every respect, NOT MY THING.

And PR, OMG PR. I didn't even make it to the client briefing. You know, the client briefing? The meeting that is the backbone and spinal fluid of the project? That without it, the project will cease to exist? Yes. That. I missed it. And you know what salvaged me having been absent? NOTHING. NOT EVEN MY 2 OTHER GROUP MATES WHO DIDN'T MAKE IT EITHER. Tell me now, or rather, how exactly are we going to go about this? RHETORICAL QUESTION BY THE WAY.

And photography! The one thing I look forward to had to be a flop on my first attempt. No thanks to having chosen a sucky location! Stupid Luna Park. You were such a waste of time and effort. And you don't want to get me started on how many times I had to change from tram to bus and back to tram again just to get to that freaking place because a stretch of the stupid tram tracks were under construction!

OH MY GOD, CAN ANYONE HEAR MY PAIN?! DO YOU FEEL IT?!