I experience this all the time, tell me if I'm the only one. I have a whole thread of thoughts I wld play back in my head on what I wanna blog about, and when I actually get in front of the computer facing this exact screen where I'm supposed to type my entry, everything I thought I wanted to write about just escapes me. Either that or I suddenly find that the things I wanna write about are so.. repetitive. Insignificant. Dull.

So if u want to continue reading, then I hope u find it worth your while.

I extracted 2 wisdom teeth on the left of jaw (my left, not yours) just Monday and that area of my face is currently swollen and utterly tender. So yes, time, once again, is on my side. All my plans of frolicking in the sun and out in the city has remained tentative so that I may nurse my bulgy face back to normal. That gives a lot of time to muse over everything and nothing (meaning to "stone", "stone" meaning think about absolutely nothing which I know u already know, not u know.. the other "stone").

What I meant to say is, this being swollen on one side of the face business SUCKS. Because sitting here surfing youtube and watching all the aspiring musicians just makes me feel like such a let down, like how I gave up on piano midway. And all the excess energy I have from all the soup n porridge I consumed fuels my brain to mull over this and that friendship (mainly ones that have been lost), which, once again, suck. Because really, if I hadn't gone ahead and booked that appointment that I knew wld put me in this position, I wld be out revelling about under the sun, in the city, whatever floats my boatybye.

That yes, I always chose the most ungodly hours to write an entry. Going to bed now.

As fervently as some of us may protest, I think a teeny fraction of us want to believe in the wonders of love. After a really bad break up and months, possibly even years, of mourning hurt hate and self pity, I emptied my heart into a box and wrapped it under lock after chain so noone would ever be able to do what he did to me. Yet buried yards beneath all the trust issues, constant paranoia and pessimism was a little trinket with the word 'love' on it. A belief that there can b complete utter trust and an infinity pool of love between 2 individuals.

I hope you grow into the man you've set out to be so that I can realise this with you.

I'm loading 1001 things on youtube right now so my internet's running slow as hell, but I feel like I need to recap and note down my Bangkok trip before I start forgetting bits of it. So here goes. Oh, and yes, I'm back from Australia, been back for ages even though it doesn't feel at all like it cos I've been busy busy busy. With what, I'm not exactly sure myself but I knw it's got a lot to do with not having been in my own country much for the past 3 weeks. Ok, Bangkok trip.

Day 1

- Touched down like at 7pm or smth

- Explored hotel surroundings

- Had what we thought was cheap Thai food @ hawker like place nearby (coconut was awesome ass)

- Shopped along the roadside stalls

- Bought Chang beer top for YS

Day 2

- Missed brekkie, but went for swim and tanned for a bit

- Met Andrew, local friend who's half British too

- Had lunch @ A&W

- Brought us to Platinum mall, shopping madness

- Dins @ nice Italian place

- Club @ Route 66 before adjourn to Wipp (FUNNEST NIGHT EVER)

- Got super smashed @ Wipp thanks to Bay's sis's husband

- Make way back to hotel

Day 3

- Missed brekkie, again

- CTC, didn't enjoy it cos it was too crowded but suer huge so fine, experience

- Chop chop to Platinum again

- Shiyan got pick pocketed, blackberry and 1000 baht gone

- After buying a ton of bags, back to hotel

- Freshened up, went for Thai dinner at Soi 5

- Had weird American talk to me otw to Bed

- Bed Supperclub!!!

Day 4

- Finally made it for brekkie

- Went back to room and died in bed (OMG, wasting day, very bad)

- Gave going to Platinum a miss (I know, like again)

- Got up, Andrew came, and out we went to Grand Palace and Temple

- Went to temple, rented clothes cos had to cover up to go in

- Only I went in, with Andrew cos it's free for him

- Came out from changing room looking like a local, had ppl speak to me in Thai

- Went in to temple, look see, trigger happy

- Temple closing so came out, returned clothes

- As returning clothes, random stranger lady sitting on steps with son stared at me and nodded in approval to son sitting beside her (this is according to Andrew)

- Went out to look for D and S

- Had the awesomest coconut ice cream EVER

- Adjourn to another temple

- Look see snap snap snap

- Left for dins @ place in Siam Square

- Aft dins, went to mall with lots of phone stuff, cldnt find case for phone cos too new

- Left handphone mall & headed for massage @ Miss Puke

- Aft massage, went back hotel, had drink, then PING PONG SHOW

- Went to place, disappointed, no more pingpong show

- Decided to enter Suzie Wong, naked girls on stage and dirty old white men sitting in booths

- Felt uncomfy @ first, then started having fun

- Dinah had a lot of attention, and so did Andrew

- Shiyan got hit on by butch

- Went home, crashed

Day 4

- Aft 2 hours of sleep, rushed to get to airport, so missed brekkie, OMG

- We thought flight was at 930am, turns out it was 905am, got to gate 5 mins aft plane flew

- STRESS PANIC TRAUMA ANGER ANNOYED PENNILESS TIRED HUNGRY

- All flights full, went on standby for all of them

- Met guy who said will help us get SQ flight, but have to wait till last min

- Wait and wait and wait for SQ flight, finally got it, HAPPIEST MOMENT EVER

- A380, comfy, food, watched 9

- Finally home, longest 8 hours of my life

That's abt it, my trip in many dash points, hopefully there'll b pictures! The whole part abt missing our return flight was absolutely not ideal, but I guess I did always wonder how it felt like to miss ur flight. For me, it's the kind of thing u'd only ever hear abt but will never actually encounter personally, and quite honestly, my whole life has been pretty organised and I've always been super anal when it comes to things that matter, so in retrospect, I actually thought it was rather.. refreshing to have missed my flight and be completely stranded in a foreign airport for 8 hours with no confirmation of being on any flight until like half an hour before the plane leaves its berth. Hahaha. Sounds a trifle sadistic doesn't it. And I suppose it kinda paid off cos we few back by SQ and we got to b on the A380 which was such a wonderful experience.

Anyway, that very traumatising yet amusing encounter aside, on a completely different note, dinner today was so wonderful. I'm not inclined to reveal where I dined because there's this one person in particular I'm not absolutely happy sharing such a wonderful place with (for many reasons and the main one being the copycatting has already gone on many miles too far), and I know this person reads this space. But regardless, I have to note it down to remember in many years to come, the absolutely lovely foie gras. And the delightful deep fried oysters with the multi-coloured sauces separated in individual shot glasses. And the tender pork belly as well as the marvelous chocolate lava cake. It was though, a very unhealthy meal altogether. I felt so oily after it I think I cld have perspired oil.

So ok, another wonderful day tmr. With ys before he flies off to Chicago for like a century.

I'm home! Well, I've been home for a while now. Not that I haven't had the time, but mayb I just don't think blogging is as important as True Blood or Flash Forward or re-watching episodes from Greys. Haha! Ok. I just sound sad now. That's not all I've been busying myself with. For the record, I lost my voice 5 days into being back. All the yapping and running around took its toll. My uncle passed away too, since I came back, so there was the wake. More on that another day, mayb never.

I'll be starting work tmr. I decided on smth less professional, with lower commitments, so no, no 9 to 5, or in my case 9 to whatever God forsaken hour. Just a short stint and a little pocket moneyy! Most importantly, pocket money for Jan's Bangkok getaway!

Good times ahead, please. Thank u! And no more fretting over matters of minuscule importance.

Tonight, we went to this really awesome corner in Port Melbourne for a mini celebration. It looked really nice, old and rustic on the outside, but clearly modern with its lit headboards (or whatever u call that thing that goes over the entrances of places bearing the name of the place) and elaborate looking cctv devices.

I thought the entrance was a tad narrow though. And what made it harder to enter was the 2 bouncers guarding it. But they were very friendly for bouncers, and very gentlemanly as well. Anyway, a few steps in, pass the lounge area, we met with the waitress who took us to our seats.

The dining area could probably only seat abt 40 people max? But it wasn't too crowded tonight so they gave us bigger cushion seats. I thought the waiting staff were all very friendly, and not the extremely makes-you-uncomfortable kind of friendly, but the just nice, I-wanna-make-sure-everything's-great-for-u kinda friendly. And not just saying it, but actually meaning it.

So we started off picking our drinks for the evening. Ys had the shiraz the waiter recommended and I took a chance with their strawberry mojito. Shiraz was good, strawberry mojito was quite a disappointment, but I wasn't gonna make a fuss over it. Probably not drink it as much or smth, but one of the waitresses, who came over to pour us more water, asked if the mojito was good so I just gave my honest opinion and said it wasn't really and she got it corrected for me! :) And she was happy to do it, u can tell. Ace for service!

Anyway, for mains we ordered their steak special and maple glazed stacked pumpkin, and a side of green onion mesh to share. We waited quite awhile, and there were some diners, who came after us, who got their food before we did. But whatever unhappiness faded the moment our food arrived and we had our first bite. I had the pumpkin mainly (we were suppose to share, but yea..), and it was so so good! It was, like I said, maple glazed pumpkin chunks mixed with pumpkin mash and bits of corn, topped with spinach, tomato then a lightly grilled layer of feta cheese. Rocket greens and pine nuts on the side (was actually stacked on top of everything). Inner realm (haha, I cannot find more appropriate words) of the plate was lined with this chocolate looking sauce, but it wasn't chocolate. It was actually a little sour. Anyway, it was really awesome pumpkin! So far, we haven't gone wrong ordering pumpkin at restaurants. Last time we went to Rockpool, the pumpkin there was fantastic too. The steak Ys had was also great! I thought it was better than the one at Rockpool, and 5 times cheaper. Mayb I just don't know how to appreciate aged, strangely marinated beef, but I thought the steak here was much better.

After our mains, we order their Death by Chocolate brownie with cream and raspberry coulis for dessert. And I cannot say this more, but it was so good too! Firstly, the presentation was absolutely adorable! I managed to sneak a picture of it. Oh by the way, I thought it was quite a pity that I forgot my camera and far worse when I saw how pretty the food all looked (that's why I don't have pictures for this post), but inbetween our main and dessert, I imagined how it must look if I fished out my camera and constantly snapped away. A BIT not very cool ya. Practically juvenile. Anyway, picture of Death by Chocolate!

Not very stunning, taken with my phone, but Haha! Dead Dessert! Anyway, Brownie was moist, chocolate sauce in little espresso cup was warm, cream was cool, and the raspberry coulis, omg, the raspberry coulis, was heavenly. It balanced the creaminess and the chocolate out very nicely. I wld have licked the plate if I weren't in public. Heh heh heh! :P

The band at the lounge area was quite good as well. They were quite country, not my first pick for genre, but they were very nice to listen to especially since I haven't been going out to watch live bands in AGES (or just going out for that matter). Sigh. But yes, tonight was a good night. Highlight of the month, possibly even in the last 2. Since I've been trapped in the hell of peak period for what seems to be like forever, and I don't exactly receive an abundance of invitations to join the party . . . (haha)

2 more to go. 2 more to go.

Ys just let me watch this video on youtube. I wonder when the Singaporean media will desist from playing up bimbotic representations of Singaporean women. Have we become such capitalists, unreasonably devoted givers of entertainment, slaves for pop culture, that we've forgotten the importance of representation in media? I believe that not all the girls in that video have hollow skulls, but why is it that they're constantly being portrayed that way? Sigh. Makes me sad.

Anyway, I'm almost outta gas at this point in the semester. :( Been feeling mildly under the weather for more than a week now, probably closer to 2, but I have to persevere. 3 more major ones to drop before it's all over, 1 of them being on Monday. Usually, I get quite frantic less 5 days to deadline, but I'm surprisingly lighthearted. In fact, so lighthearted that I've barely touched the prerequisite readings for the essay. Sigh. It's on photography, and I should be eager to bury my head in them, but it's so hard to just stare at your computer screen and read. Read like there's no tmr. Sigh. This incessant flow of work is just so tiresome.

On another note, after submitting my essay on Tuesday morning, I decided I should reward myself with a jaunt around Valley Girl and a walk in the park since the weather was just perfect that day. So I showered, got dressed, and headed out, albeit without sleep the whole night through, but happy as a button to step outta the house and do smth if not enjoy the sunlight. After dropping by uni and my planned trip to Valley Girl, I came back home to drag the log out of bed and to the park. Wasn't gonna allow him to sleep his day away when it was just awesome outside.

So to the park we went! I call it Exhibition Park because it's along Exhibition, but apparently, it's called Carlton Gardens. Hmmm, well, what it's called doesn't matter.

I love the place. It's got this massive fountain slightly deeper into the park that's untouched by shade, so when the water comes on and reflects the sun rays it looks absolutely magical! :) We were just wondering why the pool beneath it had reddish water. Guessing it was oxide. Oh and Ys feels shudder-ish when he sees that Victorian looking building beside the fountain  cos that's where he sits for his papers. Poor boy. So we settled along the banks of the nearby pond.

Being out and about in the sun made me feel a lot better. My signus went away, I felt happier, wide-eyed. But, HUGESIGH, I'm back to being stuck in my little claustrophobic room again, for the next I don't knw how long. If I'm not here, u'll find me in the radio dungeons in uni editing my life into a radio drama. Speaking of which, this radio drama's my brainchild so I'm gonna be working pretty hard on it.

Cannot wait to finish. But for now, omg, it's 5am, and I'm still at my first set of readings!

Dinner at a French restaurant a couple of weeks back. Was rather disappointed, but he was really sweet to have arranged it. And yes, I'm a huge ass sucker for big red succulent roses.

I really have no business being awake at this hour much less blogging. But I need to fulfill the intense needs of the slacker in me. I'm 600 words into my 2.5k word essay, and I'm barely into bringing my point across. I'm massively longwinded, I know. I actually decided to retire abt an hour ago, and mayb surf a bit of web, abt 15 minutes or so, before slipping into bed. But nooo, I had to start browsing pictures. Tidying some virtual folders. I'm trying to slack as much as I possibly can before I get so sleepy I concuss on my laptop, cos I know tmr's gonna see none of that. None of me luxuriously spending time on unproductive things. Like now, typing tautologously. The same thing, over and over again in different ways. See!

I have a feeling I may have only made sense to myself there.

Anyway, I cannot express how excited I am abt submitting all my assignments. No more pressuring myself on doing well. Just an abundance of play.

There's the stand-up I HAVE to go for, Dolly Diamond at The Butterfly Club. Michael Jackson's This Is It, movie premiere. Time Traveler's Wife, opening on the 5th of Nov. Shoppingggg! So many other things. Need to refer to travel guide.